So I was having dinner with my mother the other day and I started talking about things that I think are pointless, like distressed jeans that are distressed because machines made them that way and all the other trends that have come and gone. In the midst of all this I got caught up in a rant on stores that I think should just stop existing. I don’t understand them, I don’t shop in them, and if you really think about it readers, I bet you don’t shop in them either. So without further ado…
- HOLLISTER: http://www.hollisterco.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/StoreView?storeId=10251&langId=-1&catalogId=10201
Even their website annoys me. Admit it folks, we’ve all walked past this store and been slightly intrigued by those dark paneled folding screen doors and that damn cologne that seems too be pumping through the vents constantly, so intrigued that we stepped inside not knowing what a huge mistake we were making. Once inside you realize that you just walked into an overpriced store full of clothes that look like what bums wear on the streets. Outdated, shredded clothing, ridiculously thin tank tops and camis, and that damn cologne invade your senses and suddenly you feel trapped. I will never understand how someone can hand you a pair of bluejeans full of holes and bleach stains and then say “That’ll be $80 please…” How can that ever make sense? Didn’t you go in there looking for a new pair of jeans because your last ones were all beat up. You fell for the hype average citizen and now your are dealing with a whole lot of shame and buyer’s remorse. It’s ok though, I think they have support groups for this now.
- AMERICAN APPAREL: http://www.americanapparel.net/
Where do I begin with a store that charges you $30 for a plain white t-shirt? Have you ever walked through this store? There’s about 5 racks of clothing, each more expensive than the next. Everything seems to be made of cotton and spandex, and is either covered in stripes or is the same shirt/dress/skirt/pants in 15 different shades. I don’t understand it. Everyone knows that you can’t wear a shirt or skirt from American Apparel without it losing shape and turning into some long weird smock by the end of the day. The fabric is always so thin and tight in the beginning that passers by can see all your hopes and dreams and then by the time you hit lunch you look like a bag lady. This store gets a lot of hype because apparently celebrities and obscure musicians frequent these places but I’m gonna go ahead and call bullshit on all American Apparel stores. Cut it out guys…your clothes are terrible.
Remember when shopping at this store meant you were on the edgier side? The people who worked there had crazy hair and faces full of piercings and you always had that feeling that you were walking into something a little dangerous…yeah I don’t remember that either. This store has sold out 100%. I have never seen anything like the crumbling demise that is the Hot Topic franchise. I used to love to get all my t-shirts at this store because they had all the bands I was into, not to mention all the great cartoons and comic book heroes on their jackets. Now what have you become Hot Topic…a store for tweens. There is Twilight crap EVERYWHERE, not to mention Lil Wayne, Spongebob, Hello Kitty, and I swear I saw an entire shelf of pink stuff. Man that was my favorite store to shop at in high school and now I turn my head when I walk by it. I just want to shout “How could you do this to me!”,every time I see the electric sign. Damn you tweens…damn you
- SKECHERS: http://www.skechers.com/
Just give it a rest already! Nobody wants your horrible shoes. The closest thing you have to decent pairs of shoes are just ripped off ideas of other companies, like your shape ups that you copied from Reebok or your Bobs which are just TOMS with a tackier name. How could you do such a thing Skechers? As if we needed another reason to mock you! I remember my mother trying to get me to buy my shoes her because she liked them and they were in expensive…she lost me at “she liked them”. This is the store you buy shoes at when you take family hikes, or go on family camping trips in RV’s. This is where you buy a five year old shoes because you know he’s just gonna trash them and they can be easily replaced. I don’t know how it’s lasted this long but I would like for that to stop now, thanks.
That’s right I said it! A store full of poorly made, cheap clothing passing itself off as the store of our generation. I have seen 40+ year old women in there buying clothes. The store reeks of desperation and mainstream brainwashing. There are so many better stores that sell the same look and the clothes are of a much better quality. Now they’ve created a men’s section so that they hipsters of the world can have a place in the mall too. It’s a terrible store, I’ve never liked it and you can ask anybody. I saved it for last on the list because I could go on for a good while about how my skin crawls a little when I walk in there. The crazy look in all the young women’s eyes is a little terrifying. They snatch and pull at racks like wild animals I swear they do! *clears throat* ok I think that’s enough
So, what can we conclude? Do the world a favor and get rid of these stores before it’s too late
Amber Mosby “Forgive me if I don’t get excited…”