The No-No List

Hey everybody! Happy 2014 and here’s a brand new blog aimed directly at men! I’m starting to sense a pattern here…

This is the No-No List. What is the No-No list you ask? Why it’s just a simple list of things men should NEVER do when getting involved with or while being involved with women. Read the list, learn the list, love the list

No-No!
  1. DO NOT EVER COMPARE ME TO YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND: You would think that this would be incredibly obvious and yet it happens all the time. It’s happened to me and I bet if you’re really honest it’s happened to you too. I don’t know why they do it. Who wants to be compared to the person you’re no longer dating?!
  2. DO NOT RUSH ME WHILE I’M GETTING DRESSED: A woman only puts in the effort of dressing up for one reason, and that’s to look impressive. We don’t do it for ourselves, we do it for you, so rushing me is about the dumbest thing you can do. Between stuffing ourselves in Spanx and wearing some of the world’s most uncomfortable bras, women go through a lot to look good. Get a clue and tell me I look nice.
  3. DO NOT ASK ME IF I’M ON MY PERIOD: There is nothing more insulting than dismissing my feelings by concluding it’s my time of the month and that I’m being irrational due to PMS. Sometimes I’m being overly sensitive, that’s called life, but if you ask me about my period that’s just you being an asshole. The amount of response you get from me after that point will be your own fault sir.
  4. YOU HAVE YOUR SHOWS AND I HAVE MINE: Now I know this statement might be difficult to understand so let me make it clear. Don’t judge my shows. I don’t give you crap about filling up my DVR with the Walking Dead (Zombies…really?) so don’t give me crap about watching Vampire Diaries (that show is FULL of hot guys). Constantly telling me how stupid my shows are is a dig at my taste and constantly bashing my taste is going to make me wonder what I see in you.
  5. DO NOT EVER TELL A WOMAN SHE SHOULD BE MORE LIKE SOMEBODY ELSE’S GIRL: If you want a sure fire way to lose your girlfriend then try comparing them to someone else’s girl. I guarantee you will be single by the weekend. It is so disrespectful to ask me why I don’t act more like some other person’s girlfriend. It’s just going to piss me off and have me wondering if that other woman is who you really want to be with. It is NOT the way to get me to do something and is it not a smart move to make.
  6. DO NOT EXPECT THE WOMAN TO PAY FOR ANYTHING ON THE FIRST DATE: Gentlemen…first dates are tests and if you hold your hand out expecting money from the woman you’re on the date with, then you just failed that test. Now I know it’s a new age and we’ve got a lot of progressive thinkers (myself included) but this is first date etiquette 101. Going back and forth about who’s paying what on a first date just screams one thing “I am cheap”! Don’t do it, it’s not a good look and it won’t get you any brownie points.
  7. WOMEN LIKE TO TALK A LOT, DEAL WITH IT OR DATE MEN: I just can not stand to hear a group of guys complaining about how women talk too much. When did having conversation become a bad thing? When did requiring a person to have the skill to string sentences together become something that should be bad mouthed? What is so wrong with wanting to know how your day is going? Are you secretly dumb and incapable of talking about things? It’s really not that big of a deal and doesn’t even require that much effort. Put the game controller down and use your brain cells for something good for a while.
  8. NOT ALL WOMEN LIKE TO CUDDLE: Scientifically speaking, a minimal amount human contact is needed by everyone in order to progress and function in society. This is normal, there is nothing wrong with enjoying being touched, but please do not assume that because I am a female I want you wrapped around me like a boa constrictor. No this does not make me a bitch, and no I am not trying to act like a man, it’s just that I enjoy my personal space and there is no rule that says you have to be all up in it. Learn how to read the woman you’re with because we are like snowflakes (no two are alike, I don’t know if you got my reference).
  9. DO NOT TRY AND OUT-DRESS A WOMAN: Fellas there is nothing wrong with looking good but you should NEVER take longer than your lady to get ready. There is just no easy way to say it, it’s unattractive. Are we dating men or poodles here? Now I’m not saying don’t put it any effort at all, but if your part of the closet has more shoes than mine does we might have an issue. If we’re dating, we don’t need to be in competition with each other every time we get dressed to go out so take it easy on the metro-sexual vibe there OK?
  10. IF YOU SLEPT WITH A FRIEND OF MINE I CAN NOT DATE YOU: The term “dating” is not to be confused with random flings. Dating requires a lot more involvement than just bedroom matters, so if you had some between the sheets fun with any of the females in my inner circle then I can not be your girlfriend. I’m sorry, this may seem harsh or unfair but that type of situation NEVER works out well and can even lead to people losing friends. There are a lot of ladies in this world, go find one of them to be with.

And so ends my list. If you think you knew all of this already, you didn’t and this post is most certainly for you. You should probably read it twice. Hope I helped! 🙂

Yours Truly,

Amber Mosby “Forgive me if I don’t get excited…”

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