His Hesitation…

Hello Readers!

I was in the mood to prove that I could still just sit down and write great fiction and I decided that my blog was the best place for it. Feel free to tell me what you think…

~He looked at himself in the mirror that morning and thought; every day for the past year I have wondered why I can not speak to her. There was just something about her that grabbed his tongue and tied it in knots, held his lungs in a vice grip making him wheeze, addled his mind till he couldn’t form thought, and paralyzed him so that he sat trapped, like a prisoner in his own office chair. He would watch her as she came through the door always at exactly 9:02 am. How did she always manage to arrive at the same time each day? How did she manage to get her hair to frame her face so that the first thing you noticed was that the color complimented her eyes? And what was that color anyway? He had once spent an entire lunch break Googling all the colors on the spectrum looking for the perfect one to describe her hair…burnt mahogany was the choice he finally settled on.

He looked at himself in the mirror that morning and remembered the one time she had voluntarily spoken to him. She had asked to borrow his calculator which probably seems like no big deal except for the fact that she had passed by everyone else in the office just to ask him for his calculator. He had handed it to her slowly, admiring the way her fingers wrapped around it like it was something important. He’d imagined that with that one gesture she was trying to tell him that he was important too. After she’d gone, he had pulled out his personal calender and marked the day. He wrote a note to himself; “Today she borrowed my calculator”.

As he turned from the mirror and headed out of his bedroom he thought maybe today was the day he would make his move. He needed a gesture, something that would show he paid attention to her, something that would show she mattered to him. He would stop and get her coffee. Something with soy milk because she was allergic to dairy. He’d learned that little fact the day Parker had tried to make a move on her. Parker had made the foolish mistake of buying her a latte with milk. She had given him a polite smile and declined stating that she was allergic to the milk. But as he made it to the coffee shop he began to second guess himself and decided that he would find another way to impress her.

When he got to the office he was surprised to find that she was already there. He looked at the clock to make sure he wasn’t late and of course he wasn’t. She was early and she was packing a box. He moved to his cubicle and started his computer, trying not to breathe too loudly but panic was starting to set in. Someone moved past his head and he heard the words congratulations and engagement. His stomach sank. Maybe they were talking about someone else but as he was taking off his jacket and adjusting him seat, she came over and spoke to him voluntarily for the second time. She was giving him back his calculator. She handed it to him with her left hand, showing off the shiny bauble that was her new engagement ring in the process.

He sat there with his hands clenched tight and listened while the people around him exploded into noise. Once the sound died down to the white noise that is the hustle and bustle of an office, he quietly pulled out his personal calender. He turned to the page with only one day marked on it; “Today she borrowed my calculator”. Grabbing a pen, he crossed out the words until they could no longer be seen, then he put his personal calender away and went back to work.

Yours Truly,

Amber Mosby   “Forgive me if I don’t get excited…”

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