Every time I think like this I just get so sad…it’s like scrounging around in the dark waiting for a firefly to show its spark so that you don’t have to be so afraid. You pray for that moment, get on your knees and beg sometimes for that moment and you tell yourself that it’s worth it. It’s worth it for just that little bit of light when what you really should have done was make the darkness your true friend because only when the darkness is your friend do you stop being afraid.
We wanted there to be more, wanted to know that there was more to us than this. I am sorry but there is no more. There is only time and darkness. The very earth itself was dragged from the darkness of chaos and it is to chaos that the world will someday return. You and I do not matter under the weight of a concept as heavy as this. You race against time but it is a race you will lose. There is no winner here. We are owned…it has owned us all since creation. Build your towers and stow your weapons because you refuse to understand that you are nothing against this force. Pray, pray to your Gods, beg them for light. They may yet listen but remember that you are on borrowed time. It was never yours in the first place.
Every day we are taught, no, shown that we are miniscule creatures before the eyes of a giant and if we are crushed we will become nothing more than the dust that rises under the boot heels of monsters. Epiphany, enlightenment, encouragement, destruction. A never ending cycle that is the folly of man. I am not the first to know this truth and I will not be the last. A prophet, a goddess, a sinner, a saint all come down to whispers in the end. You say doom and gloom, but I say real honesty. I am not afraid to be honest anymore.
It is not wrong to seek your pleasure and I am not trying to take it from you I just couldn’t help writing this all down. I hear the words and I write them. All I can say is I do what I can. That is all that any of us can do. There is no shame in this.
Amber Mosby “Forgive me if I don’t get excited…”