That’s right I said it.
Right now the social media world has been taken by storm and that storm is the color Gray (see what I did there?)! These days every time I open my Facebook app on my phone I am bombarded by some discussion on the movie that just dropped and all the people who are pro Christian and Anna or those who are anti rape apparently. Now let me put a couple disclaimers in here:
* I never read the books, but I did have discussions with several people who did
* I did not see the movie, but I read several articles about it
* I am not a member of the BDSM community, but I know several people who are and I have researched it
Now that I’ve gotten this out of the way, I would like to go ahead and say my piece on what could be a very tricky situation, especially for women, if we don’t get control of this very soon. This book is a little bit dangerous because it overlooks very huge psychological issues by using the shock of bondage fetishes. Regardless of the fact that this started off as Twilight fan fiction (which makes it lose all credibility as far as I am concerned) the character of Christian is clearly suffering PTSD from the abuse he endured in his youth. How is this entertaining? Yes the author sprinkled in the romance part but the simple fact of the matter is we have yet another story where a woman puts up with all kinds of nonsense from a man thinking she can change/heal him.
Hey ladies…THAT’S NOT OUR JOBS!
When you find yourself in a situation with a significant other that clearly needs real help you are not required to suffer through anything because you have feelings for them or because you care about them. If they need help then they need to go an get it from professionals, putting yourself in danger is just dumb. Christian was controlling, jealous, angry, manipulative, and stalking Anna with all the resources available to him…if this happened in real life we would be all over this guy! But instead of labeling Christian as the damaged asshole he clearly is, all I’m hearing is “it’s ok, they fall in love and have kids at the end”. Yikes…
Finally, the people are right, this is a TERRIBLE example of a BDSM relationship, just absolutely terrible. Forget the scene where Anna forgets to use her safe word and got all shook up, let’s talk about Christian threatening to spank her in public for not eating, or threatening to tie her to a bed after she made it very clear she didn’t want to engage in any sexual activity. How about him tagging her phone so he knows where she is at all times, isolating her from others, or that Anna is afraid of making him angry because: “He’d probably like to beat seven shades of s*** out of me.”. Seriously you guys?! This is romantic? This is what turns people on these days? A Dominant and a Submissive often have a very intimate, very loving relationship with one another. This guy is just a bully with a lot of money.
I gotta say I just don’t get the appeal of this series and I am glad I steered clear of it. There is a lot of amazing erotica out there, but this is a very poor example indeed. Phew, I feel a little better now.
Amber Mosby “Forgive me if I don’t get excited…”