Hello there folks!
It has been some time since I could slow my brain down long enough to write a post and today we are in for an age old discussion. It is the kind of conversation we have way too many times in life and it’s something pretty much everyone can relate to. You know how it goes when you meet someone and you feel that little something that makes you say “OK I’m gonna give this a try” and then within a couple weeks you find out that the person is about that bullshit and giving you the runaround? Oh come on you know what I mean! You meet in like a work setting or on campus and you tell yourself don’t get too invested in this because these things have a tendency to go wrong and then months later you look up and realize just how much time you wasted even though you were being cautious!
This person may be a nice and you might have lots of things in common but trying to figure out what they want is like going on an archaeological adventure and you’re the next Indiana Jones. There are traps and pitfalls, hidden doors that lead to secrets you didn’t ask for, and psychological henchmen just waiting for you to say the wrong thing. It becomes exhausting but you’re over here trying to be the mature one because everyone has baggage and then this dipshit starts the cycle all over again. You know who I mean.
Now I was originally going to write this post about men but women are just as guilty of this type of setup. It sucks because you feel like you’re playing it smart but somehow you’ve lost all your individual power in this situation and you don’t even really like the person all that much. Let me help you out my friends, let me save you from all the stupid. These are my top 5 indicators that you’re dealing with a con artist…
1. Your First Meeting Seems So Adorable
They’re going to come to you and seem so honest and upfront.They don’t hold back from admitting they like you, they want your number, they want to hang out that week, and they tell you things that make it seem like they are interested in more than just a fling.
Here’s why it works: In this day an age everyone is tricky! Nobody says what’s on their mind unless they have a screen or a device to hide behind and it is all kinds of refreshing that this person just looked you in the eye and told you they liked you. Now you’re smitten. You probably weren’t even thinking about them like that but now you’re weighing your options and they just became super adorable.
2. They Tell You Just Enough Truth That You Believe Their Lame Excuses
Oh brother…in the beginning they just have so much free time right? They want to see you and they call or text everyday because they don’t care about “looking thirsty” they just can’t help wanting to spend time with you. And then you sleep with them and man does their calender just fill up with all these things that don’t involve you. They’ve got excuse after excuse for all those cancelled dates and missed phone calls don’t they?
Here’s why it works: you know that they are actually a very busy person. Remember back in the beginning when you were getting to know one another? That’s when you found about all the things they are involved in; work, school, volunteer groups, fraternities/sororities, nieces and nephews to babysit. These were the things that made you like them and now they are the very reasons being given for you lonely Saturday night.
3. They Add You To Their Social Media
I mean they can’t lie to you about things when you can see what they’re doing right…right??? Wrong, oh so wrong my friend. Not only do you see them out and about having the time of their lives without you, they know you are following them or are on their friend’s list but they just keep posting anyway. You now have to sit through a 126 second snap of the person you’re “dating” out with everybody but you! Are they doing this on purpose, don’t they know you have eyes that work and feelings that can get hurt?
Here’s why it works: Remember the part about telling you just enough truth? You’re not in a committed relationship and you both know that so you can’t be mad when you see them out having a blast at one of the many events they just couldn’t get away from to spend time with you. They clearly think you are a mature adult and not a crazy person, that’s why there is no need for them to hide what they’re doing. They told you they were having an event on their campus…they just didn’t tell you the part about it being a kegger or that people would only be wearing togas.
4. They Complain That You Don’t Call/Text Them Enough
They’re so busy, you can’t pin them down, and then they say “you just don’t communicate enough”. What the hell? Didn’t you just tell them you wanted to spend time with them and didn’t they say their whole week was full? Why would you text them when they’re so busy, doesn’t that just make you a nuisance???
Here’s why it works: GUILT TRIP. They know you want to talk to them but they have made it damn near impossible to do so and now they keep you around by insisting you make them feel unwanted. YOU, who has spent multiple weekends not hanging out with them but plenty of weeknights in bed with them is making THEM feel unwanted. Classic…
5. The Heart to Heart
Nothing is more intense than sitting down and having a heart to heart talk with a person you are thinking of building something with. Now you can get everything off your chest and you guys can’t start fresh…except the heart to heart turns into a list of things you’re doing wrong and them refusing to acknowledge any of the shit they made you feel over the past couple months. Big ass waste of time.
Here’s why it works: Because it takes a lot to tell someone how you really feel right? Communication is so important and they were willing to talk it out. And you have to admit they were very honest with you from the beginning and you have been the one “playing it safe” so maybe some of this is your fault. You’re doomed,,,doomed I tell ya.
So that’s that. You are now a little bit wiser and little more aware of some of the tricks of the trade. Go forth and share this info with those in need, become someone’s hero.
Amber Mosby “Forgive me if I don’t get excited…”