Ok folks so I wrote a short story from the male perspective…it was inspired by some friends of mine hahaha, I hate to leak you guys but I had to do it. Men having been doing this to women for years, present company excluded (as far as I know) and I figured we should start laughing about it.
So here is “Last Night”:
He sat up and looked around him. A bed, he was in a bed. It was just as he was deciding he could use another hour of sleep when he heard the woman stirring next to him.
Fuck, was his only thought because he had no idea who she was or how she had ended up in his bed.
He saw her head lift off the pillow and quickly pretended to be asleep. What was her name again? He tried digging through his memories of last night but all he got were flashes of people’s faces. By now the unknown female (as he was coming to think of her) was getting out of the bed and heading into the bathroom and that’s when it hit him…he didn’t have a bathroom in his bedroom. He looked around again.
This isn’t my bed and this isn’t my house…
“Where am I?” he whispered. He peeked over at the bathroom door. She was at the sink brushing her teeth.
Then he shook himself because he needed to figure out where the hell he was. He thought back to last night. He remembered going to a party. It was somebody’s birthday and there was an open bar. He couldn’t help smiling as he remembered how wasted everyone had been. It had been a big group of them and they had all ridden together but somehow he had ended up here with this unknown female.
Suddenly a cell phone began to chirp on the nightstand and she came out of the bathroom looking for it. He fell back against the pillows and threw his arm over his eyes. She grabbed the phone and headed back into the bathroom. As soon as he heard the door close he hopped out of bed and began scrambling for his clothes. He was zipping up his jeans when he heard her talking.
“Hahaha yeah he’s still here. He’s asleep right now. No, we’re gonna spend the day together. You already know once I sleep with a guy he’s mine and this one is definitely all mine.”
Listening outside the door he felt his gut clench.
“Where the fuck is my hat,” he breathed.
He spotted it hanging from a bedpost and practically ran to get it. He glanced back at the bathroom door and that’s when he tripped over the bed sheet.
“Shit!” he cried as he went down.
She came rushing out of the bathroom and he jumped up like nothing had happened.
“Hey girl,” he said casually.
“Morning! I thought we could go get breakfast.”
His mind blanked as he tried to think of an excuse. She was looking back at him expectantly.
“Oh I would love too, but I can’t. I have a job interview,” he said happy he had come up with something she wouldn’t argue with.
“But it’s Sunday,” she said looking confused. “Who is the interview with?”
“Um Warehouse Solutions! Yeah they’re a new company with weird hours.”
She nodded like she understood and he breathed a sigh of relief. He walked over and put his arm around her shoulders.
“Could you give me a ride home? This is a big interview and I don’t want to be late.”
She smiled up at him and nodded her head.
It was the longest ride of his life…she never stopped talking and she sang along to every song on the radio. None too soon she was dropping him at the end of his driveway. He gave her a quick hug goodbye and rushed to his front door. He opened it as quietly as he could, hoping his roommates were still asleep.
“So last night huh?” Someone asked behind him.
“Alex! Her name is Alex.” He cried
He closed the door as laughter surrounded him
Amber Mosby “Forgive me if I don’t get excited…”