Fiction writing!!! I meant what I said about burying you guys in short stories. Enjoy my latest piece that I just wrote will sitting in class tonight. Mondays, am I right?
It was one of those “just get the fuck out of my face” kind of days. I had a chip on my shoulder the size of a mountain and I was just waiting for the right person to take it out on. Over and over I envisioned scenarios in which someone evoked my wrath and I was able to unleash on them with a fury so hot it would rival the surface of the sun. Yeah I have a way with words.I am a bonafide wordsmith motherfucker and I will use this talent to destroy those who would seek to get on my damn nerves. Man it was just one of those days! One little fuck up after the other, setting my teeth on edge, making me sweat for no reason, clothes feeling too tight, tripping over laces that have already been tied six times today. I was losing it and I wanted to take someone down with me.
I never should have come to the mall feeling like this. Is there a place on the planet more infuriating than a mall on the weekend? I look around me and all I see are faces I wanna punch. Like that lady over there holding up the line at Cinnabon. They sell cinnamon rolls dummy how complicated can it be?! Or look at these two teenage idiots walking together. They’re doing that whole butt to dick walk where the girl stands in front of the guy and he’s got his arms around her waist like she’s trying to run away from him. And they’re walking like this around the mall, happy to look to like complete assholes. Jerks…
It smells sticky in here. I look around at all the children with their mouths wide open, screaming for all the shiny things in the windows and I wonder what people would do if I just walked over and punted one of those kids. The thought makes me laugh a little. I picture some random kid just flying through the air and I’m all “NAILED IT!” I decide it might be time for me to get the hell out of there.
I’m rushing to the door and because I am rushing to the door I am not paying attention to where I am going and what do you think happens next? I bump into some chick on her cellphone and as a result drop all my bags on the ground. That is it. Now there’s a voice in my head that’s screaming oh happy day because someone has finally given me a reason. This freaking waste of space that couldn’t put her phone down long enough to walk in a line had just made me drop all of my things on a day when there were no fucks to be given and I was going to let her have it. I look over at her with my eyes narrowed ready to rip her apart and I see the exact same look reflecting back at me. Her hair is frazzled, her upper lip is sweaty, her shirt is askew and I can tell that she is having the exact same day I am. I see it right there in her angry eyes and flaring nostrils, she is about to lose it too.
“One of those days” I say…
“Yeah,” she replies…
Then we reach down, grab our things and walk on past each other without another word.