Tonight I’m sitting here in my bed and I thought to myself, I said self…you got a few bad habits don’t you? The answer is yes my friends, but you know what, I LOVE ’em. Admit it, we all have those things we like to do that will probably get frowns from others but we do them anyway. Do you know why we do them? Because fuck it, that’s why!
So tonight I thought I would make a list of some of my terrible habits that I have no intention of giving up. This is a whole “I just gotta be me” kind of blog.
- I smoke hookah…that’s right I said it. I have three different hookah pipes and I am not ashamed of it. People like to talk smack about hookah smoking and then I light this bad boy up and suddenly it’s “let me get a hit of that”. Don’t be ashamed people. The fruity flavors trick you into thinking you’re not actually smoking, plus you get to look all mystical like the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland. I’m smoking as I type this!
- I talk to myself…I do it all the time. I have a shit ton of thoughts running through my head and I feel like saying them out loud helps me focus and fills up the silence of my empty apartment (might be sharing too much with that one). I like to think that I am genius and that talking out loud is my way of organizing my life because my giant brain would get too full for me to function.
- I will eat out of dirty dishes…GASP. This might be one of my grosser habits here, but in my defense, if you are putting more of the same food in the dish that was already in there then I don’t see the problem. Who wants to wash dishes all day? Your hands get all wrinkled, and I eat all the time. That’s a lot of dish washing.
- I sing to my guinea pigs…I know what you’re thinking right now, how cute are these guinea pigs. The answer is: VERY FLIPPIN CUTE! My Rufio and my Maestro are just…well they are to me what cats seems to be to everyone else on the internet. I love my handsome little guys and I sing to them so they know I love them.
- I insult my friends as a way of complimenting them…this one might be more common than I think. I don’t like to be emotional (it’s for weenies) and so when I feel like my friends are doing something awesome and making me feel all proud and what not, I come in with a zinger of an insult. You know, as a way to show love or whatever.
- I read books before the movie versions come out so I can feel superior…haha oh man what loser face. I can’t help it. It just feels so good to drop that “well you know in the book” line on people. I know that it’s pedantic but sue me, I’m better than you. PLUS I was Team Jacob way before that Taylor Lautner showed up and made a whole generation of women into cougars.
- I have more intimate relationships with people online than I do in real life…this is one that I ain’t got no shame about. I am better at keeping up with my friends online than I am in person. I hate leaving my place all the time, I hate talking on the phone, but I will hit you with some Facebook love real quick. I don’t know what it is about real life interactions that just leaves me feeling so exhausted. I think it has something to do with constantly having to control my resting bitch face.
So there’s my ugly truth. I would say don’t judge me but you can judge me if you want. I love me, I love me hard.
Amber Mosby “Forgive me if I don’t get excited…”