So dig this…about a month ago a couple of friends unknowingly challenged me to write a series of stories on a super hero called Gerbil Man and his sidekick Squirrel Girl. At first it was just a big laugh but then I decided to accept that challenge. Since Marvel already has a Squirrel Girl, I turned her into Captain Chipmunk. It’s more fun that way.
Oh and this all started because apparently owning guinea pigs is uncool and I like to associate with jerks. Enjoy the first installment folks!
The Adventures of Gerbil Man and the Woodland Corps
Today’s adventure begins at the Tree-house Headquarters of our heroes Gerbil Man and Captain Chipmunk…
Captain Chipmunk rubbed her hand over her tired eyes before reaching for her third cup of hazelnut coffee. She scanned the row of monitors in front of her for what seemed like the thousandth time and was again rewarded with absolutely nothing. Reviewing the previous night’s security tapes had become a habit of hers over the years. She didn’t know what she was looking for but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was out there. The forest seemed as calm as it always did, and as the sun began to rise, Chipmunk started to worry if she was losing it. But something wasn’t right…her instincts had never let her down and the way her tail was quivering meant only one thing: DANGER.
She had learned to trust her tail more than anything else in the world. Following that instinct she fast forwarded the tape until the sun had completely risen. After another minute of scanning footage, she found what she was looking for. There in the shadows near the forest edge was the outline of a human. Male, tall, bald, wide shoulders. He just stood there, apparently watching. There was nothing threatening about him, but why was he just standing there? Bringing up as many angles as possible she watched as the figure moved from the shadows and began to walk back towards the trail that led to the street. She waited for him to hit the camera that she knew would show his face.
“Come on, come on” she breathed.
When his face was finally revealed, Captain Chipmunk felt her spine stiffen before the cup of coffee she was holding slipped from her numb fingers and dropped to the floor. She slammed her hand down on the pause button before taking a screenshot of the face before her.
“Please let me be wrong,” she chanted while waiting for the photo to print.
A lifetime passed before she could snatch the paper from the printer and closely inspect the person clearly displayed. There could be no doubt, it was definitely him. The greatest enemy the Corps had ever faced. They’d lost more people to this man’s schemes than any other villain they had ever faced. He was supposed to be dead, pushed off a cliff by Gerbil Man himself. Walking over to the far wall, Chipmunk pressed the intercom button.
“Emergency meeting in the main hall. NOW!”
She knew she didn’t need to clarify who she was talking to. The Treehouse base was a well-oiled machine, everything in its right place. Moving quickly, she made her way to the hall.
The others were already waiting when she arrived: Gopher, Fox, Squirrel, Prairie Dog, and Guinea Pig.
“Where the hell is Gerbil Man?” She demanded.
“He’s in the meditation room,” Fox supplied.
“There’s no time!” Captain Chipmunk said, storming out of the room.
The others looked at one another before following her. Chipmunk was running on all fours and they could barely keep up with her. They couldn’t help wondering what could be so important that she would actually interrupt Gerbil during his meditation. They hit the corner just in time to see her throw open the double doors. Gerbil was sitting in the Lotus Position. If not for the twitch of his whiskers you would think he hadn’t heard them at all.
“What is it?” Gerbil Man asked, finally opening his eyes.
“He’s back.” Captain Chipmunk said. Her breathing was heavy, her eyes wide.
“Who?” Guinea Pig asked. “Who is back?”
“The Weed Wacker…” And then the room went silent.
The others began to glance at one another and the tension built. Could it be possible? Fresh in everyone’s memory was that day when the Weed Wacker had almost destroyed them. He had poisoned their water supply, turning those that drank it into mindless zombies for him to control. Only those out in the field had escaped the tragedy. Gerbil Man had been able to steal the antidote from Weed Wacker, knocking him off a cliff in the process. It had taken months to recover. Many had quit, terrified that they could be so easily controlled. Half the Rabbit Squadron had died. It had taken two years to recover their losses and rebuild.
Gerbil Man had finally moved from his position of the floor.
“Weed Wacker is dead Captain Chipmunk. You were there when I killed him.” A look of sorrow crossed his face. Gerbil Man had always been one to celebrate life.
Chipmunk held up the paper in her hand. She passed it to Gerbil Man without another word. She watched as his eyes scanned the paper over and over again. She knew what he was feeling, the pit in her stomach a testament to just how serious things had become. Gerbil Man passed the photo to Gopher standing next to him, the others moved in closer to see for themselves.
“What do we do?” Squirrel asked, his hands in tight fists at his side.
Gerbil Man turned and faced them…
“Prepare for War.”
Tune in next time for more adventures of Gerbil Man and the Woodland Corps!
Amber Mosby “Forgive me if I don’t get excited…”